This can't be good.

So is this a "welcome home, we missed you" kind of thing or...

Oh. Damn right, "oh." What happened to "I'm broke and can't afford to send M.J. To private school"? Don't get me wrong, Mike.

It was a wonderfully generous present.

But you can't go around blowing your kid's money on jewelry for your girlfriend.

What did these cost you? $4,000, $5,000?

$129.

What?

They're fake, okay?

And I knew how badly you wanted pearls, and I couldn't afford real ones.