I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.

What a sick use of science.

Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.

I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.

Hippos are the deadliest creature.

A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.

Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.

Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala.

You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

But half-man, half-owl could fly...